Santa Claus was freed from a California jail after posting bail. A representative from the North Pole said that Santa should still be able to complete his rounds on schedule. Santa Claus had been arrested by California State police for violating several state environmental regulations as well as the Endangered Species Act. Santa reportedly paid his bail entirely with Christmas cookies and Legos toys. His hearing is set for early January.
©Obamabeans 12/24/2012
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The Editorial Staff at ObamaBeans wish everyone a “Merry Christmas” and a “Happy Hanukkah”!
For those of you offended by this, our apologies. For you, we wish a “Random, Happy, Politically-Correct Celebration of Judeo/Christian Values But in No Way Has Anything To Do With Religion” Day!
Please note that our Editoral Staff is already snockered on eggnog and will not be sober in time to publish any new stories until December 26th.
©Obamabeans 12/24/2012
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In our recent article about Hasbro’s new G.I. “O” doll released for this Christmas, we forgot to mention that many of the common G.I. Joe accessories, such as guns, knives, military equiment, etc. will not work with the new G.I. “O” toy. It does, however, come with several unique accessories, such as Air Force One, golf clubs, and a portable teleprompter.
©Obamabeans 12/23/2012
Filed under Uncategorized
President Obama announced this week that Vice President Biden will be responsible for developing the administration’s proposals to reduce the gun violence that has plagued the country.
In a related story, residents living as far away as ten miles from the NRA Headquarters in Fairfax Virginia reported hearing a loud noise emanating from the facility immediately following Obama’s announcement. One of the residents described the noise, saying it sounded like: ”YYYYYIIIIIIPPPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”
©Obamabeans 12/21/2012
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U.S. toymaker Hasbro recently announced a new action figure, G.I. ‘O which will be available for last minute Christmas sales. When ever danger draws near, youngsters can push a button on the figure’s backside and G.I. “O” will immediately make a speech.
©Obamabeans 12/21/2012
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Reverend Jesse Jackson recently announced that he was removing orange and red from his Rainbow Coalition, and will focus only on black, brown, blue, green, and yellow. When asked about purple, Jackson replied: “I’m not sure about purple.”
©Obamabeans 12/17/2012
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In recent interview, Ghostbusters producer, Ivan Reitman, said that if memory served him, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man character in the movie was actually modeled after Chris Matthews. Upon hearing this, Chris Matthews said that this was patently untrue, in that he was not yet a public figure at the time the movie was first released.
When the star of the movie, Bill Murray, was asked about this disagreement, Murray said that he thought Reitman had things a little mixed up. Chris Matthews was actually patterned after the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
You decide:
©Obamabeans 12/20/2012
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Former President Bill Clinton stated yesterday that we wants to get to the bottom of what really happened in the Petraeus/ Broadwell scandal. The former president has reported asked for a private meeting with Ms. Broadwell to determine what really took place.
©Obamabeans 12/17/2012
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Sandra Fluke recently announced that she would be shifting her campaign from free contraceptives for women to free medical services for women with venereal diseases. When asked about her change of focus, Fluke replied: “It seems like a logical extension of my work. Besides the itching is killing me.”
©Obamabeans 12/17/2012
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Speaker of the House John Boehner said today that the principal problem Congress was facing in achieving a new budget agreement was that Democrats are bad at arithmetic. Nancy Pelosi, speaking for Congressional Democrats, refuted Boehner’s comments, stating that over 70% of House Democrats possess a college education, and that the other 50% were graded proficient on their GEDs.
©Obamabeans 12/17/2012
Filed under Uncategorized
