Attention OBeaners: We’ve not received the tremendous response that we thought we would to our contest (Five Things Joe Biden Would Take On Vacation, first posted on 2/10/21013). Consequently, we’ve decided to up the ante with our prizes. Here is our new prize list:
Fifth Prize: Two discount coupons to the Donald Trump Hair Styling Academy, redeemable at any location.
Fourth Prize: A computer generated map showing the exact location of Joe Biden’s hair plugs, signed by Joe’s cosmetic surgeon.
Third Prize: A case of bronzed spent shells from President Obama’s skeet shooting adventure . (They make great paper weights!). As a bonus we’ll also include a photographic copy of the President’s fourth grade report card complete with teacher’s comments.
Second Prize: An artist’s rendition of Elizabeth Warren’s Native-American ancesters’ (alleged) first encounter with her European ancesters (not alleged) on the Trail of Tears. Editor’s note: contains bloody images that may be unsuitable for family viewing.
And the First Prize is:
Two free tickets to the Alec Baldwin Seminar on Anger Management. Mr. Baldwin will share the many anger management secrets he has learned over the years, including:
- Proper Flying Etiquette, or Don’t Get Angry over Angry Birds
- Why You Should Never Ridicule Your Brothers
- Treating the Paparazzi With Respect
- How Racial Epithets Hurt Everyone
- Positive Reinforcement and Parenthood
©Obamabeans 02/21/2013
Filed under alec baldwin, barack obama, celebrity news, dennis miller, elizbeth warren, entertainment news, humor, indian, jon stewart, native-american, onion, politcal satire, political humor, President Obama, satire, skeet shooting, the onion, Uncategorized, white house
Tagged as alec baldwin, barack obama, celebrities, celebrity news, dennis miller, humor, jon stewart, Obama, onion, politcal humor, political humor, political satire, president obama, satire, the onion