Category Archives: elizbeth warren

Obamabeans Contest Update

Attention OBeaners:  We’ve not received the tremendous response that we thought we would to our contest (Five Things Joe Biden Would Take On Vacation, first posted on 2/10/21013). Consequently, we’ve decided to up the ante with our prizes.  Here is our new prize list:

Fifth Prize:  Two discount coupons to the Donald Trump Hair Styling Academy, redeemable at any location.

Fourth Prize:  A computer generated map showing the exact location of Joe Biden’s hair plugs, signed by Joe’s cosmetic surgeon.

Third Prize: A case of bronzed spent shells from President Obama’s skeet shooting adventure . (They make great paper weights!). As a bonus we’ll also include a photographic copy of the President’s fourth grade report card complete with teacher’s comments.

Second Prize: An artist’s rendition of Elizabeth Warren’s Native-American ancesters’ (alleged) first encounter with her European ancesters (not alleged) on the Trail of Tears. Editor’s note: contains bloody images that may be unsuitable for family viewing.

And the First Prize is:

Two free tickets to the Alec Baldwin Seminar on Anger Management.  Mr. Baldwin will share the many anger management secrets he has learned over the years, including:  

  •      Proper Flying Etiquette, or Don’t Get Angry over Angry Birds
  •      Why You Should Never Ridicule Your Brothers
  •      Treating the Paparazzi With Respect
  •      How Racial Epithets Hurt Everyone
  •      Positive Reinforcement and Parenthood

©Obamabeans 02/21/2013

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Filed under alec baldwin, barack obama, celebrity news, dennis miller, elizbeth warren, entertainment news, humor, indian, jon stewart, native-american, onion, politcal satire, political humor, President Obama, satire, skeet shooting, the onion, Uncategorized, white house

Elizabeth Warren’s Latest Ethnic Revelation

In addition to being a Native-American, Senator Elizabeth Warren announced today that she is also an African-American.  As in the case of her disputed Native-American heritage, Warren says she can’t prove she’s African-American, but she fondly remembers her great grandmother’s stories about life on the planation in southern Mississippi. She warmly recalls listening to her Nana talking about living in the big house, going to balls, and curiously ordering the other African-Americans around as if they were slaves.

Senator Warren thinks that this is why she and the President have such a close connection: they both think they’re African-American.

©Obamabeans 02/17/2013

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Filed under barack obama, dennis miller, elizbeth warren, humor, indian, jon stewart, native-american, onion, politcal satire, political humor, President Obama, satire, the onion, Uncategorized