Monthly Archives: December 2012

Editor’s Correction to Hasbro G.I. “O” Story

In our recent article about Hasbro’s new G.I. “O” doll released for this Christmas, we forgot to mention that many of the common G.I. Joe accessories, such as guns, knives, military equiment, etc. will not work with the new G.I. “O” toy.  It does, however, come with several unique accessories, such as Air Force One, golf clubs,  and a portable teleprompter.

©Obamabeans 12/23/2012

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President Obama Names Biden to Lead on Gun Control

President Obama announced this week that Vice President Biden will be responsible for developing the administration’s  proposals to reduce the gun violence that has plagued the country.

In a related story, residents living as far away as ten miles from the NRA Headquarters in Fairfax Virginia reported hearing a loud noise emanating from the facility immediately following Obama’s announcement. One of the residents described the noise, saying it sounded like:  ”YYYYYIIIIIIPPPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

©Obamabeans 12/21/2012

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Hasbro Introduces New Toy- G.I. “O”

U.S. toymaker Hasbro recently announced a new action figure, G.I. ‘O which will be available for last minute Christmas sales.  When ever danger draws near, youngsters can push a button on the figure’s backside and G.I. “O” will immediately make a speech.

©Obamabeans 12/21/2012

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Jesse Jackson Announces Changes in Rainbow Coalition

Reverend Jesse Jackson recently announced that he was removing orange and red from his Rainbow Coalition, and will focus only on black, brown, blue, green, and yellow. When asked about purple, Jackson replied: “I’m not sure about purple.”

©Obamabeans 12/17/2012

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Chris Matthews Was Model for Famous Movie Character

In recent interview, Ghostbusters producer, Ivan Reitman, said that if memory served him, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man character in the movie was actually modeled after Chris Matthews.  Upon hearing this, Chris Matthews said that this was patently untrue, in that he was not yet a public figure at the time the movie was first released.

When the star of the movie, Bill Murray, was asked about this disagreement, Murray said that he thought Reitman had things a little mixed up. Chris Matthews was actually patterned after the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

You decide:

©Obamabeans 12/20/2012

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Former President Clinton Wants to Personally Look Into Petraceus Affair

Former President Bill Clinton stated yesterday that we wants to get to the bottom of what really happened in the Petraeus/ Broadwell scandal.  The former president has reported asked for a private meeting with Ms. Broadwell to determine what really took place.

©Obamabeans 12/17/2012

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Sandra Fluke Changes Focus

Sandra Fluke recently announced that she  would be shifting her campaign from free contraceptives for women to free medical services for women with venereal diseases. When asked about her change of focus, Fluke replied: “It seems like a logical extension of my work. Besides the itching is killing me.”

©Obamabeans 12/17/2012

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Boehner Says Democrats Are Bad At Math

Speaker of the House John Boehner said today that the principal problem Congress was facing in achieving a new budget agreement was that Democrats are bad at arithmetic. Nancy Pelosi, speaking for Congressional Democrats, refuted Boehner’s comments, stating that over 70% of House Democrats possess a college education, and that the other 50% were graded proficient on their GEDs.

©Obamabeans 12/17/2012

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In an Interview, President Obama Discusses Negotiating Skills, How to Compromise With Republicans

In a lengthy interview with the Washington Post, President Obama shared with the Post’s reporter how he had acquired his renowned negotiating skills, including learning the fine art of compromise: “It really started back when I was in the Choom Gang. We used to have many heated debates while we were riding around toking up: how many times to cruise the mall; whether the windows shold be all the way up or cracked a little… I discovered at that time that I had a unique, God-given ability to objectively understand the views and opinions of everyone involved and then skillfully get everyone to do it my way”. Later in life he found this useful while President of the Harvard Law Review: “If you think debating with Congress is difficult, you’ve never had the experience of arguing with a group of would-be lawyers about proper grammar and the correct use of the semi-colon. Believe me, those debates could be rough! But it helped me realize that it was actually easier to lead around a bunch of narcissistic, Ivy-League educated, hot-air balloons than it was to lead the general population. I think my understanding of this basic truth is what allowed me to take over the leadership of the Democratic Party”. 

When asked about what tactics he planned to use to work out a compromise with Republicans on the budget, President Obama said “I’ll invite them to the White House. We’ll serve them donuts and coffee. I’ll tell them what I think our compromise should be and then I’ll tell them to take it or leave it”. When asked how this differed from issuing an ultimatum, the President said: “With an ultimatum they don’t get donuts”.

©Obamabeans 12/18/2012

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Celebrity News: Quentin Tarantino Talks About Current, Previous Movies

In a interview today promoting his new movie “Django Unchained”, Quentin Tarantino admitted that his latest movie and all his previous movies were made from the same script.  “I just change the characters names and their costumes”, said Tarantino.

©Obamabeans 12/18/2012

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