In response to critics who say that he has not done any new or interesting research for several years, Dr. Paul Krugman announced that he had recently completed a new and seminal work in economics, titled “Why I Always Lose at Monopoly”. In his book Dr. Krugman explains how the game is overwhelming biased against progressives and other enlightened individuals. In his analysis of the game, Krugman describes how greedy, unscrupulous opponents intentionally build hotels surrounding other players’ properties, demand outrageous rents, and, with the help of equally unscrupulous bankers, force bankruptcy on the other players. In a feat of breathtaking creativity, Krugman has proposed a new and completely revised version of the game. In this version, rent controls are placed on all properties, Boardwalk is nationalized and owned by all players in common, everyone is given free houses and free Community Chest cards, and, in place of receiving $200 for passing “Go”, players now receive one “See a Doctor in Under 18 months with Obamacare” card instead. In this updated version a new position is created, called “The Government”, which now owns the bank, actually rolls the dice and moves the tokens for all the players, and hands out money based on a complicated set of rules yet to be determined. According to Krugman, “Any idiot can now play and not lose; in fact, you don’t even need to be present to play.” No word on when or if Parker Brothers intend to implement these changes.
©Obamabeans 12/27/2012