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New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today the findings of a study financed by the Mayor and conducted by the Berkeley Science and Health Institute of Technology (B.S.H.I.T.). The study, called Big Gulps and Guns, A Deadly Combination, found a statistical relationship between the drinking of oversize sodas, commonly referred to as Big Gulps, and gun violence.  According to study, over 99% of all gun-related murders in t his country over the last five years have been committed by someone who drank a Big Gulp or similar sized soda less than four hours before the murder. The study goes on to demonstrate that there is a 40% chance of a person committing a serious crime before bedtime on any day that he/she consumes a plus sized soda. According to the mayor, “This demonstrates why it is so important to ban both guns and Big Gulps.  By taking action on these two issues at the same time, we can with great certainty eliminate gun violence in America.  But the benefits don’t need to be limited to just the United States.  That’s why I’m taking my Guns and Big Gulps campaign overseas to the Middle East, both to Israel and the Arab nations.  Perhaps we finally have within in our power the tool to solve the Middle East conflict for once and for all.”

©Obamabeans  4.25.2013

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